You've been updated.

Well, it's just that. I've been here for three hours or so, logged on to this WiFi system playing and surfing online. I had been playing Endless Zombie Rampage earlier this month and got really good and really bored. Now, I'm back to my basics: Curve Ball and Redline Rumble. I've also been hanging out in the places over there <-- on the sidebar. Reddit is a pretty cool site. I should register so I can make comments.

I'm actually thinking about getting rid of the internet at home. With RC gone, much of my money will go to pay the mortgage....$1200 a month! I really don't want to sell the house. I want to wait a couple of years before selling...and buying something new. Or renting it out to someone or something. I have been thinking about that house on a lake thing. I should start to find out about one in Maine where I can dip my feet every summer. I'd love to be able to rent out my house during the summer and go to Maine. Now that RC is gone, I won't have to ask and/or wonder about other's needs. I won't have to worry about getting a place near Utica to be near the in-laws, even though I am going to miss them.

It is so funny: everything I've done, pretty much, during the past six years has been to please RC. Yes, maybe getting a dog wasn't in RC's mind but I needed a dog as a companion for the long stretch between 2:30 and 5 pm. So now, I'm on my own but tied to a house. (I really need to go to the bathroom but don't want to leave my laptop out here. Maybe I'll ask a worker dude to watch it while I go.) My friend said I could rent to Pair (sp) College of Art. Alright, I feel better. Now, the college hasn't any dorms so the students are always looking for a place to stay. This may actually work out well...I could rent the place out during the summer and then travel....now that I am free to go where I want without worrying about hurting someone's feelings or feeling that I may be hurting someone's feelings.

I'd have to really like, lock up my Stephen King collection. I am not really concerned about anything else, not even the flat screen tv. I could care less about those things. But the book collection, now there is a something I am proud of.

GMDJ asked me why I haven't written anything lately. Well, here ya go, kid. My brain dump. My diaheria. My brain storming. Crap. See, nothing but crud going on in my head. That's why I haven't written much. Actually it is nothing but crap going on in my life and it hurts to write about it. I don't want to cry in the middle of Panera Bread.

Yesterday, I had dinner here but didn't have my laptop. I had my book: The Valkyries by Paulo Coelho. I left and headed north to the Carving Tree (eventually) in Wallyworld. That wasn't my original destination but that's where I sorta ended up. Actually I ended up at my old friend's house. I used to babysit her daughter, many moons ago. Now her daughter is working in Boston making really good money. I told her everything that had happened and she was darling enough to listen. I stayed until 9 pm and then drove home.

The night before I took the dog to Krispy Kreme's in Milford. My dog has a serious sweet tooth. She ate two glazed donuts by the time we reached home. Well, so had I.

It was suspected that someone in my family had congestive heart failure. I looked it up and now I am worried a bit about myself. With CHF the heart isn't strong enough to pump blood to the extremities. This could be why my arms get numb really quickly. This makes sense since I haven't really had much exercise in the past three weeks because of my fractured foot. Stress fracture of the third metatarsal in my right foot. I did this the day of my big toe surgery having a pillow fight. Oh the good times we had, RC.

At least my relationships have been getting longer in length. The next one should be more than 6 years. Yeha!

There is a kid in here who has really great lungs and very liberal parents. Either that, or the girls on the computer have found a really annoying program and have it on a continual loop at maximum sound.

So here I am. You've been updated.

leaving

RC, whom you don't know, is leaving. That's life.

be good.

drafting in the wind

I sit in my classroom
It is Friday, 2:26 and I can hear the constant
rumble of the airconditioning.
Doors open
Children converse waiting for the bus
It is like a constant exhalation.
I wait for the room to take a breath.
For some reason sitting here is peaceful.
The light sensor does not detect my presence
Am I still here then?
This poem is pretty stupid
And trite.
What does that say about me?
Stupid, trite? Seems to be.
The stuff on my desk is three feet deep,
books, papers, things. I wonder what the mice have eaten lately.
What have I missed? The year winds
down
down
down.
I am drafting in the wind of the air conditioning unit.
The sender sends and can never receive,
William Burroughs once said, or something like that.
That's what this feels like...
The rumble never breathes in.
Perhaps I should leave.

My brother asked me today what my goal is...

And I instantly talked about work. Hmmm. This may be interesting. My goal does not include an administration job. I want to stay in the classroom forever...and ever....and ever.

Here's a pitch for my brother's site: http://cnybonsai.googlepages.com/ He is el presidente of the Central New York Bonsai association...or something like that. You can find him in the article section, under geo dome or something to that effect.

But back to my goal. I think my ultimate goal, which I was able to relay to him after some hemming and hawing, is to have a cabin on a lake in the woods far away from the world. I've had this goal for a very long time and I am no where near realizing that goal. I have a house and a small yard and a pond, which I dug the hole for myself. The small pond I guess is symbolic for the larger lake that I wish I could have.

Each year getting away from it all means going further and further away. Everyone wants to get away from it all. New Hampshire used to be where all the Bostonians would go. Now it is the Northern Kingdom and Katadhin (check spelling). Soon it will be Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island, which I think it already might be.

My brother also asked me if I were still writing. I said that I've been trying to keep this blog and curriculum writing. So basically, no. He means creative writing, stories and poetry. I told him that my creativity goes into my classroom. I told him about some of the great things I've been doing with my students.

I don't even know why I am keeping this blog. I don't think many people know why they blog. I think now I am breaking blogging rules...by putting too many topics into one entry. But I think that this is just supposed to be a web log. A log of my thoughts. And they are pretty random. I think someone needs to come and please edit me.

My brother also said that the googlepages might now be blocked at school. I'll have to try tomorrow.

Tomorrow I give out the students second to last paper. I need to find a way to bring their work home to scan it. Or something. I may ask them to submit to me one piece of writing that they wish their sophomore teacher to see. And I may drop the hint that I may be teaching them next year.....duhndundunda.

Comments...

I want them! Well, that would mean people were reading this blog and I don't know about that. I guess that is how daily kos and wonkette really got going...they wanted comments. They wanted responses from people so they set up there posts to be "something interesting" to get people to respond.

Meaning making. Hmmm.

My dog is afraid of bottle rockets and other forms of fireworks. She is huddled into a corner surrounded by things so that the bottle rockets won't get her. I don't know if it were the kids next door shooting them off or what. This is a picture of my dog companion, Honey, when she is not afraid of bottle rockets.

I remember when I lived on Franklin Street in Wallingford and we had bottle rockets. We put one on the street, facing up hill, lit it and watched it fly up and hit a neighbors house. That was pretty cool.

Thirty-five total days until the end of school. What am I going to do with my summer? I need to hire a landscaper to help me with my yard. I need to plant my garden this weekend.

I think I've gone on too long now. Many of the blogs I've seen in my life time (count them: 5) are these short short paragraph-like things.

ella

rhymes with stella and fella and sella...seller...cellar...stellar....gabriellar... margarita...rita...pita...pitar...

the book i am reading now has a main character named pilar. i had a student named pilar once. she was very nice...quiet type. shy. just like the character in the book.

but that's not what i wanted to write about today. well. maybe.

i need to come up with the final reflection for the students. i, being "the teacher," need to look at the whole picture thing. i also need to look at the whole curriculum thing.

teaching the 5th class is cramping my style but it's better than trying to get everything together for the other classes and worrying about them.

which reminds me...

(i hope you don't hate cuz i'm using lazy spelling...i actually hate it too and am just doing it to get a rise.)

this is a first.

Ok well first off let me start by saying that I absolutely hate my first name sometimes, but I don't think going by my middle all the time would be an accurate handle. Using my full name is a form of political correctness but I'll let it slide seeing as how this is just a blog. ( nerf!) Well anyways, if you haven't noticed yet I prefer writing in the smaller font, blogger has this warped idea that normal text should reach tip to knuckle. To annoy 'the teacher' I've written in especially tiny font. yay! if I wanted to be especially cruel, everything would be in green but hey- I have a heart. I don't exactly know what to write in here since it's not my own but whatever. we'll see.

Stephen King

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.


My newest tattoo.

-nofusion 5/22/-7

I cannot believe that it is almost June. And I am sitting here with nothing in front of me. And yet my desk is full of work to assess, and I have so much going on and not going on- if that makes sense. I go home and watch T.V. Humans cycle- up and down no matter who they are. A least sitting here I can hear the narrator in my head. So the drugs must be wearing off. Ive had the urge to do things but my foot. . . So I am kinda stuck myself.

My current favorite author

Paulo Coelho is currently my favorite author. His work really inspires me to write and to think about things differently. I just finished “The Devil and Miss Prym” and have found myself thinking about the current state of affairs in the world. Before I go into that I would like to list a few of my favorite quotes.

“I’m a man who has experienced things that most people never dream of, and who went beyond all the usual limits in his search for both pleasure and knowledge. A man who found paradise when he thought he was a prisoner to the hell of routine and family, and who found hell when he could at last enjoy paradise and total freedom.” 14

“As I told you when we first me, the story of one man is the story of all men.” 69

Talking about going to heaven and not being allowed to bring his dog and horse in for a drink from a fountain…The traveler finds another place that lets him in and he asks about the other Heaven: “’That’s not Heaven, that’s Hell.’ The traveler was puzzled…[The man continued]’On the contrary, they do us a great favor, because the ones who stay there are those who have proved themselves capable of abandoning their dearest friends.’” 99

The priests refuse the bishop’s generosity of filling their water cups. One priest obliges and has the bishop refill his cup. The priests chastise him for making the bishop work. The bishop hears this and says, “You, who think you are holy men, were not humble enough to receive and so denied me the pleasure of giving. Only this man allowed Good to be made manifest.” 148

Talking about paradise: “You’re mistaken, Father. You were in paradise, but you didn’t recognize it. It’s the same with most people in this world: they seek suffering in the most joyous of places because they think they are unworthy of happiness.” 178

“The story of one person is the story of all humanity.” 195

Alive

Am so alive now. Woke up. Been so quiet lately. But now everything is alive.

I have this urge.....

I have this urge to write about my classroom, but I fear that this would be a bad idea.

I used to think that I would write during the summer. I haven't felt the urge to write for a while. Sometimes I get the crinkle of a nudge. But nothing has been produced.

Please welcome my new author, Gabriela. I hope you really enjoy her work. She is brilliant.

Hunger

Even if I were to tell you that I am multi-tasking while doing this you would probably believe me because this is a disjointed rambling and it is quite recognizable as my first post as a blogger.

I am watching Youtube, Tv and doing this right now. The thing that is interesting is that I am watching What's My Line ....Salvador Dali. This is quite interesting.

I possibly have a stress fracture in my foot. This really sucks.

So, here it is. My first blog.

I was on themestream.com a long time ago. Haven't internet published since it went under. I'll try to get some stuff up.